Terry the MOO travels with the FPS Team to Kentucky as Official Team Mascot

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Bracing for take-off, my accompanying humans turned out to be a little more grown up than me - being a young calf, I was concerned that I might not get looked after in the style I have grown accustomed to. I needn't have worried - these chaps were a lot of fun even though I spent a lot of time stuck in a plastic bag. Human airports are all the same - one would imagine they could use their imaginations to make them interesting for the travellers but this seems not to be the case. As a cow, I noticed the distinct lack of grass or hay on the fast-food menu.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I shared my moosic, talked about take-off and landing (as an experienced traveller, I was able to calm down my little human companions, explaining that the planes hardly ever crash and our seats at the tail end of the plane were safer than the ones at the front).

The customs people were really gentle, my passport was again stamped (little globe trotter me) and we boarded a really large plane for a long, tiring flight.

I read stories to my young companions (everyone knows cows are naturally gifted story tellers) - they were particularly interested in tales of disaster and misadventure - interesting these humans - it was a lot of fun but the trip was soooooo looooong - I had 4 sleeps, 17 meals (cows need snacks all the time) and remembered to walk around the cabin often (much to the bewilderment of the crew) - deep-veined thrombything is not nice particularly when you have 4 legs that need stretching.

I found the seats plenty big enough for me, but it seems they are not designed for humans (well, not ones with legs anyway). I discovered that Gerard snores and Michael talks in his sleep - they are all grumpy when they are woken up.

Really important humans are everywhere it seems. Some humans are so important that they get put in charge of lots of other humans. In America, they decide on leaders, call them presidents and elect them using a process that looks like a game show.

This house belonged to Abraham Lincoln - one such human who was a president in America during a particularly sensible time (not like now where it seems that hollywood is running the country).

At least the Americans wouldn't be so silly as to elect a pretender (the humans call them actors) in any position of importance - surely? Even a naive calf would think that would be silly as people who are good at pretending to be other people should not be put in charge of anything important - unless they need to be terminated, naturally.

I was taken to a thing called an amusement park - apparently these are places young people come to be entertained - interestingly, a pre-requisite for this sort of entertainment is the bringing of bits of paper and metal humans call munny. I find this strange as these bits of paper and metal in themselves are not particularly entertaining, but you can exchange them for things that are - I would think this is a poor exchange but i am still trying to understand humans.

It also seems that some humans have more of these bits of paper and metal bits which is odd because you would think in a really enlightened society, they would distribute these things a little more evenly ... humans are so difficult to work out sometimes and have much to learn from us cows who have long since given up 'owning' stuff.

I met some lovely people in my travels and this lady called herself "Jasmin". The only Jasmin I have heard of was a 2-dimensional character from an animated film called Aladdin - this could not be her as she was really 3d - she had bumps that the cartoon Jasmine could only dream of.

She was very friendly but spoke with an accent I found hard to understand - americanish I think she called it.

This is a statue of Walt someone or other - seems he had a fascination with mice and ducks and other animals - must have been a jolly chap.

I wondered whether he had ever considered cows - by far the most expressive and intelligent of animals, but it seems he only ever experimented with a dreadful cariacture called "Clarabelle" - no self-respecting cow would ever act like that and that particular cartoon character is not generally discussed in cow circles.